Radiance (what a coincidence…)
If I lived on a fruit farm,
I would be perfectly happy,
Permanently sitting in a field of sunshine
Just eating fruit all the whole damn day long, yes.
The only problem is, maybe I would turn into a raspberry?
Well, at least that's what my mum used to say to me about fruit.
"You'll look like an orange soon
If you keep eating all those oranges!
Leave some for someone else, you greedy pig!"
If the whole world was nothing but fruit and humans!
But also cute cats – we can't leave them out, no!
We'd need cute cuddly things
To tickle in the evenings
And make us feel needed in the mornings
In case everyone else goes away.
Oh, and also hang-gliders,
So we could fly around in the sky,
Just flying around half the day
Way up in the big blue sky
Above all the fruit
And the hills and the trees
And we'd be like, "Hey, look at all that fruit!"
And other similar expressions of Yesness
"Ooh look, a big hill, with an apple tree on top!"
"Who grew that huge pineapple? It's amazing!"
"Marry me, Matilda!"
"Yes! What wedding cake are we going to have?"
"There's won't be any cake!"
"No, haven't you heard?"
"They've banned everything in the universe except fruit,
But they've found a way to make an infinite supply of fruit,
And all new types of fruit,
All so amazing,
Your eyes would pop out of your head!
So much fruit!
Than your mouth can handle
Or your brain can understand!"
And the entire purpose of marriage
Would be to have someone your whole life
To sit and eat fruit with,
Because it would be better than sex or even dancing.
And this is the way life should be
Because at least it would save us from the situation I am now in
Where I have only 2 strawberries and 3 raspberries left
And I'm afraid to eat them
Because then they will
Stand here with me, I said,
It'll be alright.
But it wasn't.
All at once
In a flash
Of inspired perfection,
And I walked away,
I'd finally let go…
It didn't matter anymore.
Like a dog, it barks
At your back door, wanting be let in
To run around
And tear the place to pieces;
And its claws
And those you love
And it says, "I am you,"
But don't be fooled;
You're no more that barking dog
Than you are
The huge, grey rain clouds
That force you
To run outside in a panic
To get your washing in off the line.
Even if it dung make cents toe yew,
It dung matter, no, not wheely,
Beak Oz it makes eye larf.
This morning part of our road collapsed, creating a huge hole which my
house fell into.
Can you arrange for some of your men to come out and repair the road, as
well as some builders to rebuild my house?
As my computer was destroyed in the incident, I am sending this e-mail
from the library. As a side note: there are some loose paving slabs
outside the library which nearly caused me to sprain my ankle on the way
here, although this can probably wait until after my house has been
Contact Me: firstname.lastname@example.org
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