I am eating strawberries and raspberries.
They taste delicious,
Amazing,
Like an orgasm in my mouth.

If I lived on a fruit farm,
I would be perfectly happy,
Permanently sitting in a field of sunshine
Just eating fruit all the whole damn day long, yes.

The only problem is, maybe I would turn into a raspberry?
Well, at least that's what my mum used to say to me about fruit.
"You'll look like an orange soon
If you keep eating all those oranges!
Leave some for someone else, you greedy pig!"

But
Just
Imagine

If the whole world was nothing but fruit and humans!
But also cute cats – we can't leave them out, no!
We'd need cute cuddly things
To tickle in the evenings
And make us feel needed in the mornings
In case everyone else goes away.

Oh, and also hang-gliders,
So we could fly around in the sky,
Just flying around half the day
Way up in the big blue sky
Above all the fruit
And the hills and the trees
And we'd be like, "Hey, look at all that fruit!"
And other similar expressions of Yesness
Such as:
"Ooh look, a big hill, with an apple tree on top!"
or
"Who grew that huge pineapple? It's amazing!"

or
"Marry me, Matilda!"
"Yes! What wedding cake are we going to have?"
"There's won't be any cake!"
"No cake?"
"No, haven't you heard?"
"Heard what?"
"They've banned everything in the universe except fruit,
But they've found a way to make an infinite supply of fruit,
And all new types of fruit,
All so amazing,
Your eyes would pop out of your head!

Oh!
So much fruit!

More fruit
Than your mouth can handle
Or your brain can understand!"

And the entire purpose of marriage
Would be to have someone your whole life
To sit and eat fruit with,
Because it would be better than sex or even dancing.

And this is the way life should be
Because at least it would save us from the situation I am now in
Where I have only 2 strawberries and 3 raspberries left
And I'm afraid to eat them
Because then they will
All be

Gone.