tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-215948722024-02-28T13:11:17.399+00:00Tell the SkyPoems, thoughts, ideas, ponderings, rants, etc.Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.comBlogger165125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-73950176407039930192010-07-25T20:33:00.000+01:002010-07-25T20:33:00.730+01:00New Website<pre wrap="">Okay, my new website is taking shape nicely. Go take a look at it:
<b><a class="moz-txt-link-freetext" href="http://laughingatthesky.com/"></a><a href="http://laughingatthesky.com/">Laughing at the Sky</a></b>
I've worked quite hard on it over the last week to get it to a point
where I'm pretty happy with how it looks. Obviously, I will change
certain parts as time goes on. It will probably naturally evolve over
time. Also, there are sections without much in, but at least I've got
the layout how I want it. Also, there is a HUGE amount of stuff to
listen to in the Music section. Aside from the overall apearance, the
Music section has been the part I've been working on the most.
Also, if you want to stay constantly updated with what I put on there,
there is an RSS Feed and Twitter Account, which will both update
whenever I add a new post to the site. The Twitter account is plugged
directly into the site, so that will update automatically. However, if
RSS or Twitter aren't you're thing (and that's totally
understandable), then just stay on this e-mail list, and I'll try and
remember to post here when I put anything really good on the site. I
have, however, changed the name of this mailing list from MEJC to
Laughing at the Sky, but your membership remains the same (of course,
otherwise you wouldn't be getting this e-mail now).
The focus of this site is mainly my creative things. I'm trying to
make more of an effort to channel more of my energy into my creative
things again. I'm trying to get back into the photography and the
creative writing more, and one day, when I can afford to buy a new
soundcard and some good speakers, I'll get back into the music again.
I'm going to make a real effort to keep this site updated, even if
it's just me rambling on or ranting about some kind of stupid nonsense
whizzing round my head. Or if I can't think of anything else to post,
I'll just post a funny video or whatever.
If you spot any mistakes (e.g. typing errors or audio files that won't
play), let me know. The site isn't perfect yet, but there should be
enough there now for you to enjoy. I just want it to be a fun place
for me to share my creative stuff plus anything else I feel like
sharing.
I want this site to be 100% my thing, done my way, just me dancing to
the beat of my own strange drum. If it's your thing too, then just
enjoy it for what it is. If it's not your thing, then go find
something that is. I won't lose any sleep...
<span class="moz-smiley-s1" title=":-)"><span>:-)</span></span>
Cheers,
Marcus.</pre>Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-71370522751911946862010-07-19T14:13:00.001+01:002010-07-19T14:13:32.329+01:00Update - Website, Inception, Woman and Old FriendsBy the way, I'm currently working on a totally new personal website. It's going to be so amazing, when you visit it you might actually die from an overdose of amazingness.<br> <br> In other news...<br> <br> I went to see the film <b><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66TuSJo4dZM">Inception</a> </b>on Saturday night with my friends Harvey Warvey Pudding And Pie and American Mark. It was fantastic! Aside from the fact that it was very confusing, it got 100% in every way for me. Leonardo DiCaprio, the performances, the special effects, everything! Even the music was amazing! <br> <br> Just before the film, on the way up the escalator to the screen, I think I temporarily fell in love with a woman in front of me. She had that look I really like, with the short hair and the whole kind of androgynous thing going on. She reminded me a bit of my ex actually, only even nicer and more sane (from what I could tell from such a brief moment - which isn't a lot really now I come to think about it). She sounded slightly forgeign (not sure where), and was stood next to this young guy who she was touching on the shoulder and saying to him, "You're such a handsome guy..."<br> <br> I couldn't stop dreaming about her when I got home.<br> <br> Anyway...<br> <br> Went for a walk with my walking group yesterday. Saw really good old friends Darren and Bernie who I haven't seen for a while, and had such a fantastic day I think it almost gave me a nervous breakdown.<br> <br> I think that's enough excitement for one week. Now I need to calm down and work on my new website...<br> Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-11272142595242546462010-07-15T20:38:00.001+01:002010-07-15T20:38:05.341+01:00Far Away Cliff TopFar away,<br>that's where everything seems to happen;<p>where, on blustery coastal cliff tops<br>old couples fly kites<br>and dream.<p>Half a mile away<br>a man stands alone,<br>smiling, waving,<br>wearing only his underpants.Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-58034480493779575522010-07-11T09:32:00.000+01:002010-07-11T09:32:10.395+01:00Fantastic Sky Over Wotton-under-Edge on 2nd July 2010<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAgHWrT1P29rw3OeLua5IjtBZj828TeAah_guBQdfPXVFE0BuWf-FlUE3Fq1-0WdNs7LF2lSDEUupszpvAsvqM_M49330O5fxv3dVLiNil4BAxyv1oNb9Dd6onUHXQwXYu683gqg/s1600/02Jul10EveningSky+%281%29+-+Photoshopped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAgHWrT1P29rw3OeLua5IjtBZj828TeAah_guBQdfPXVFE0BuWf-FlUE3Fq1-0WdNs7LF2lSDEUupszpvAsvqM_M49330O5fxv3dVLiNil4BAxyv1oNb9Dd6onUHXQwXYu683gqg/s640/02Jul10EveningSky+%281%29+-+Photoshopped.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-88938967468939217162010-06-30T18:15:00.000+01:002010-06-30T18:16:03.968+01:00Bruce (A Microstory)There was a dog called Bruce who, at the age of 7 years 3 months 12 days <br>4 hours 17 minutes and a year, suddenly understood the meaning of the <br>entire universe, which, in his own words is "Woof woof bark bark barkety <br>woofy woof," which when translated from Dog into English means "We are <br>all made the big clay of time." One day, his owner, Barbara, made a clay <br>model of herself, which exploded and caused the fire alarm to go off the <br>entire block of flats. The fire service were called, and Bruce bit one <br>of the firemen on the leg. The bite went septic, then gangrene, and <br>eventually the leg had to be amputated, so he had to retire from the <br>fire service, so he started a business selling dog meat to London's <br>Chinese minority.Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-15790322731856212622010-06-24T14:22:00.001+01:002010-06-24T14:22:24.903+01:00Icarus FeelingI said:<br> <font color="#3366ff"><i>I think I need to be careful<br> because<br> if I get much higher<br> I just might take flight</i></font><br> <br> She said: <font color="#006600"><i><br> I had this beautiful dream last night,<br> I think <font color="#ff9900">I tried to drink the sun...</font></i></font><br> <br> Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-69477244758511128412010-06-23T15:56:00.001+01:002010-06-23T15:56:54.897+01:00One SockThere's just one sock in my bedroom.<br>I don't know where there other one is.<br>I need to find the other sock.<br>Who's taken this sock and not brought it back?<br>It's certainly not on my foot, so where is it?<p>Where is this sock?<br>It's not here.<br>I've only got the one sock.<br>Please someone bring back the other sock,<br>or, Sock, oh Lonely Sock,<br>if you know where you are hiding,<br>please come back, so I can wear you on my foot again.Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-66502682015925593412010-06-21T18:33:00.001+01:002010-06-21T18:33:32.053+01:00T is for TescoT is for Tesco.<br> H is for Helicopter.<br> Put them both together,<br> and we can all go shopping in the sky.<br> <br> B is for Banana.<br> X is for Xylophone.<br> Put them both together,<br> and you can make a musical pie.<br> <small><font color="#666666">(this only works as an absurd imaginary idea, not as an actual recipe to serve your family as a desert with their dinner)</font></small><br> <br> E is for Egg.<br> D is for Dave.<br> Put them both together,<br> and it's a man eating his dinner.<br> <small><font color="#666666">(whilst an egg would work as a dinner, but rather than eat it by itself, have it with something else, you know such as a piece of lettuce or a jam sandwhich, you know, the usual kind of thing)</font></small><br> <br> L is for Love.<br> F is for Free.<br> If you don't need to pay,<br> you're onto a winner.<br> <small><font color="#666666">(unles of course you are Michael Winner, in which case: calm down dear)</font></small><br> <br> Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-52601051123997506182010-06-21T16:22:00.001+01:002010-06-21T16:22:51.689+01:00She looked at me with a faceShe looked at me, with a face that seemed to say:<br> <i><font color="#3366ff">If all the money<br> in all the countries<br> in all the world<br> was spent on turning the sky<br> a brighter shade of blue,<br> what colour knickers am I wearing?</font><br> </i>but what she actually said was:<br> "<font color="#006600">Eagle eye bent sky rasperry handlebar moustache</font>"<br> <br> <font color="#663366">Well,<br> I must say,<br> there's really no easy way to answer that,<br> is there?</font><br> <br> Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-57914274525193916572010-06-21T11:15:00.001+01:002010-06-21T11:15:42.178+01:00Spending money is funSpending money is fun.<br>It creates an illusion<br>that what you're doing isn't a complete waste of...<br>not time, but<br>the only moment you really ever have.Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-79455534615295975662010-06-20T21:42:00.000+01:002010-06-20T21:43:00.530+01:00Bill Bailey, Bristol & BathSaw <a href="http://thegreenroombar.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/bill-bailey-l.jpg">Bill Bailey</a> live in <a href="http://www.bristol.ac.uk/university/maps/bristol-uk-small.jpg">Bristol</a> last night. It was everything I expected it to be and more. I laughed a lot and was not bored for even one second. Bill was on top form, and it was great to be sat out in the fresh air (the chairs were laid out on the lawn of Ashton Gate Football Stadium). It was fun when he remarked on the surprisingly beautiful weather (Something like "This is all very weird...sunshine in England in the summer..."), the moon in the sky, and also a seagul that randomly flew past. Bill got a standing ovation at the end of the set. Everybody loved him. It was a real homecoming gig for him, since he grew up in the area. What's always amazing about Bill though, is how he makes it all look so easy and effortless. He's just a naturally funny guy who also happens to be a virtuoso musician, and he combines the two seamlessly.<br> <br> There were five of us who went to the gig together: Me, Dan, American Mark, American Mark's English Girlfriend, and American Mark's English Girlfriend's Friend (also English). At the end of the gig, Mark (who is from New York City and has a cheeky mischievous face) was trying to pursuade us to all pile into a Taxi ("Google says it's 4 miles all the way back to Dan's house..."). Dan said he didn't mind (typical Dan, hates the possibility of ever causing offense or upset to anyone, and so hence always refuses take responsibility for any decision making). Mark said to me, "Right, so make a decision," so I said, "Umm, okay, we'll walk and save money." Mark and the two women went to the Taxi while Dan and me started walking (along with thousands of other people) in the general direction of the city centre. It took us about 75 minutes to get back to Dan's house, but the time flew really quickly because we talked so much. I can talk for England if I'm on a subject I'm interested in and I'm talking to someone who doesn't interrupt much (and Dan doesn't like to interrupt much, because he seems to have a constant fear of causing any kind of offence ot anyone). If the conversation subject is something I'm not interested in, or the person likes to interrupt a lot, I can't talk for England, I talk for Japan instead, like an English person who doesn't know any Japanese and therefore doesn't say anything. I'm not sure this joke really works. Most of the time my jokes only make sense to me and nobody else, but this joke, I'm not even sure I understand it either. By the way, that last bit is what I would classify as "the kind of joke that only makes sense to me and nobody else". If it made sense to you, and you're female and under the age of about 35, we need to talk. It could be that we're meant to fall in love or something. I don't know. I don't really understand how these things work.<br> <br> Anyway...<br> <br> Drove back to <a href="http://www.stuartsoriginals.com/images2/bristol2.jpg">Bristol</a> today, to catch up on something I started. Let me explain...<br> <br> I had the idea back in April to celebrate the entire Month of June as a Birthmonth, rather than settling for just one day as a Birthday. My idea was, that I would try to pack as many fun activities into the 4 weekends of June that I could. My plan was, half of the activities would be exciting activities with friends, and the other half would be more relaxed solitary activities such as art galleries, museums, etc.<br> <br> The first weekend it was Mountain Biking with friends followed by a trip to Berkley Castle by myself. Last weekend it was Go Ape (organised tree climbing) with friends followed by visiting 4 different art galleries in Bristol. It turned out that one of the art galleries didn't have an exhibition on last weekend, but they did this weekend, so today I went back there to see it. I saw that one of the attendants (a young woman) seemed to look at me once or twice, so I went over to speak to her ("Did you make any of these pieces?..."). I wanted to speak to her again after I'd gone round that part of the gallery, but she has disappeared after that, so when I got home I found her website, and now I'm going to stalk her until I get arrested.<br> <br> Anyway, it was all very interesting. Lots of alternative stuff. Lots of weird sound and video things, and various moving objects. Worth the walk across the city, I reckon. But then that's all part of it, the urban hiking. As a country boy who claims to be forever in love with the rural life (including, but not limited to, hiking, tree climbing, trespassing and scaring sheep), urban hiking is like a secret pleasure of mine. <br> <br> Anyway, that's not the end of my day. I was back at my car by 3pm, and drove to <a href="http://www.bugbog.com/images/galleries/england_pictures/england-bath_2.jpg">Bath</a> to visit the Victoria Art Gallery. The downstairs gallery of new stuff was close (it seems to be a bit of a lottery sometimes, this art gallery thing), but the upstairs gallery of old paintings was open, so I went up there. I spotted one painting which I was sure I'd seen somewhere else recently. I couldn't decide whether I'd seen it in a gallery in Bristol, or in a dream I had. I was so disturbed by this, I walked all the way back across the room and asked the member of staff if it was a copy. Half way through her comprehensive reply regarding which pieces had copies and which didn't (this particular one didn't, she said) I suddenly realised I had probably seen it on the website that morning before I came. <br> <br> After that, I walked around Bath for a bit, around the River and stuff. It was fucking excellent weather! I don't normally like to swear when I'm not angry (and even then I prefer to stay away from the F-word, opting instead for safer words such as cunt), but the weather really was that good. Sat on a bench next to the river, and tried to become as conscious as possible of the experience of a perfect summer day in a beautiful city. <a href="http://roadsofstone.files.wordpress.com/2007/02/river-avon-bath.jpg">This picture</a> doesn't even come close...<br> <br> Next weekend is Crazy Golf and Cycling...<br> Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-74631827237812057642010-06-18T08:27:00.000+01:002010-06-18T08:27:11.027+01:00Last Night at Julia's HouseLast night I went to a party at my friend Julia's new house in a <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/brizzlebornandbred/2060945778/">rough area</a> of <a href="http://www.ashernet.co.uk/index.php?module=pagemaster&PAGE_user_op=view_page&PAGE_id=4&MMN_position=45:45">Bristol</a>, to celebrate her birthday and also moving into her new place. I don't normally go to parties, but Julia is great and I haven't seen her for an entire year, which is totally absurd. How did that happen??? We need to stop this kind of thing from happening. Anyway, at least now I know where she lives, so maybe I can start camping in her garden...<br />
<br />
Anyway, I took my friend Dan along, because he lives nearby. Apart from Julia, I didn't know anyone else, so me and Dan ended up just talking amonst ourselves in a corner of the garden while everyone else sat round a big table. I lectured Dan at length about how I think of Days and Months in terms of different colours, and how one day I hope to be an internet millionaire with a lovely house on a hill overlooking <a href="http://www.gloucestershiretouristguide.com/Articles/Article_46.asp">Stroud</a>, perhaps with nude female servants and a pet giraffe...<br />
<br />
Towards the end of the evening, a woman came and sat next to us and started chatting to us. Dan didn't really say anything, so I chatted away to her. She told me about how singing in a band with Julia is really the only fun time she gets away from her kids. She also told me all about her painful foot. I said to her: "This is the most I've ever learned about a stranger's foot." I then proceeded to tell her all about how I injured my knees earlier in the year, so I guess we ended up even.<br />
<br />
About 10:30 we walked back towards Dan's house <a href="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/113/302783804_f8b676e672_o.jpg">along the main road</a>. I was definately out of my comfort zone. Saturday night on the streets a major city, not my idea of a good place to be really. One guy asked us if we had a spare pound, and when we said "No, sorry," he said, "Argh, what the fuck's wrong with you, man! I hope you guys get beaten up and stabbed or something!" A bit rude...<br />
<br />
Further up the road we passed a busy pub, with Police stood next to a young man holding his wounded head after probably being smashed with a bottle.<br />
<br />
Is this really peoples idea of a good time?<br />
<br />
And they all laugh at me for wanting to climb trees...Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-68453012378249563832010-06-16T19:00:00.001+01:002010-06-16T19:00:48.747+01:00Idea for a Satirical Cartoon in the Style of Gary Larson's The Far Side<b>Idea for a Satirical Cartoon in the Style of Gary Larson's The Far Side</b><br> <br> PICTURE:<br> <br> A monkey underneath a giraffe, sucking milk from its udder.<br> <br> Two scientists stand watching from a moderate distance. <br> One turns and says to the other: <br> "I'm sorry, George, I was wrong when I said we're the only animal on Earth that drinks the baby food of another species".<br> <br> Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-82122067316135481602010-06-16T18:59:00.001+01:002010-06-16T18:59:35.286+01:00This is Not a PoemThis it not a poem<br>It's just a stupid rhyme<br>If I got paid five pounds per word<br>I'd write them all the time<p>I wish I had more arms and legs<br>For dancing round the trees<br>I'd dance all day if someone paid me<br>For doing things like these<p>If I could earn five hundred pounds<br>For walking like a spastic<br>I'd walk like that all damn day long<br>Whilst wearing only plasticMarcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-64715078277368785022010-06-16T18:47:00.001+01:002010-06-16T18:47:48.967+01:00Uncle Bertie Episode 35 - Dominus Gearstick<a href="http://www.unclebertie.com/episodes/episode-35-dominus-gearstick/">Uncle Bertie Episode 35 - Dominus Gearstick</a><br> <br> In this new episode of the Award Winning* online comedy series Trampoline Bouncing With Uncle Bertie, radio presenter Simon Bumtrousers interviews a man who claims to be a Transformer.<br> <br> <i><font size="-2">* the Big Brown Banana Award, presented to us at the Monkey Awards Ceremony in Monkeytown, Monkeyland, Planet Monkey, the Monkey Way Gallaxy, in some bizarre parallel universe.</font></i><br> Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-52328308870945080422010-05-31T12:37:00.001+01:002010-05-31T12:37:41.569+01:00Uncle Bertie: Episode 33 – Sex Line<a href="http://www.unclebertie.com/episodes/episode-33-sex-line/">Episode 33 - Sex Line</a><br> Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-54583119967970562092010-05-18T12:53:00.001+01:002010-05-18T12:53:53.533+01:00Professor MxAndrew: A Lecture<a href="http://www.unclebertie.com/episodes/episode-31-professor-mcandrew-a-lecture/">Professor McAndrew: A Lecture</a><br> An interesting and informative lecture from Professor McAndrew on life. This truly is a "must hear" for anyone who has an appreciation for intelligent discussions on important topics.<br> Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-62405233775479363492010-05-12T13:18:00.001+01:002010-05-12T13:18:06.046+01:00The Pooey BogBottom of Online Freelance WritingFor anyone that doesn't know, I've just started to dip my toe into the world of online freelance writing. This means I get paid money up front for every article I write. It's not wonderful money, but at least it allows me the option of working in my underpants. <br> <br> Anyway, here is a conversation I just had via PM on Freelancer.com...<br> <br> Him: <font color="black">what is your rate for 500 words<br> <br> Me: </font><font color="black">$3.50<br> <br> Him: </font><font color="black">my rate is 1$ per 500 words<br> <br> Me: </font><font color="black">That's rubbish. You'll only get Indians for that!<br> <br> Him:</font><font color="black"> did i mention in my bid i need natives<br> <br> Me: </font><font color="black">Native American Indians?<br> <br> At this point I was really gearing up for an exciting conversation. I was expecting to be accused of being racist or zenophobic or something, or for him to start insulting me or whatever. I thought it was going to be fun, but all that he said in response was this:<br> <br> </font>Him: well if you agree on rates ok otherwise its ok<br> <br> How disappointing...<br> <br> Anyway, I'm off out now to have lunch down by the stream, and aint no-one gonna stop me. No, not even you, with your stupid flappy arms, flapping about all over the place like a stupid flappy person.<br> Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-19351321459350842010-04-30T15:00:00.001+01:002010-04-30T15:00:43.147+01:00One of the Funniest Things Someone Said to Me RecentlyOne of the funniest things someone said to me recently, as we were <br>driving through Bristol, was:<p>"I really like Bristol, I think I'd really like to live here. There's so <br>many hot women. I think if I lived here I'd end up with every STD going. <br>I'd probably end up with AIDS of the face or something."<p>I laughed so much I almost crashed.<p>Another one was:<p>"Hey, let's ask that old man for directions. That man with the face like <br>a Cornish Pasty. Go on, go up to him and say 'Excuse me, but you've got <br>a face like a Cornish Pasty'".Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-5154648900726587112010-04-29T19:15:00.001+01:002010-04-29T19:15:47.491+01:00Extremely Important Announcement That I Feel Utterly Compelled To Broadcast To Everyone<font color="#993399"><big><big><big><big><big>I JUST HAD A PISS</big></big></big></big></big></font><br> Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-13241081725477913442010-04-26T19:49:00.001+01:002010-04-26T19:49:34.487+01:00Thunder MondayIt was a Monday, the first day of a damn black diagonal skyweek, when Ben saw the Raving Loonysod yet again, as always, poised screaming angry at the sky, "Aaarrrgghh, I hate you, you Fucksod, how dare you rain on me when I'm jumping in the happyfield, or shine sun on me when I am dancing in the sadroom like bangybang loonytrouser. I want to ram the ground down your face!"<br> <br> It was always the same. It was always the same. It was always the same the whole damn time, even when it wasn't (which never happened, except when it did, which wasn't very often unless it was which it probably wasn't but I can't be completely sure) it was always the same unless it was different.<br> <br> It was no use, but still he carried on raving at the sky like angryfaced shouthymouth. "Aaarrrggghhh! Green wobbly trouser bags to you, you big thing that spends the whole day being grey!"<br> <br> "Oooh wacky bumtrouser elephant!" exclamed a man on a tricyle.<br> <br> The End.<br> <br> .............................<br> <br> <i>Note: this was actually written back in September 2009, but I forgot about it.</i><br> Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-59852064935068153512010-04-26T19:46:00.001+01:002010-04-26T19:46:13.268+01:00Once Upon a SpaceOnce upon a space, many years ago and a long way away somewhere (I don't <br>know where it was), there was a tall man who ate things and walked and <br>danced and said hello to people (even people he didn't know). One place, <br>he was in a day, but it was a short day, so he had to crouch down, he <br>couldn't stand up and be his usual tall self. And he looked at other <br>people who were smaller and inside bigger days, and he thought to <br>himself, "Something's not right here." He would have said, "Something's <br>not right here, Audrey!" if there had been someone called Audrey <br>present, but there wasn't.<p>Anyway, so then the man (let's call him Robert, yes?) looked up at the <br>sky, and crouched in awe of the big blue almost-infinite expanse before <br>his face, and said, "Oh if only there were more strawberries in the world!"<p>At that moment, a small man appeared, not inside a day, but inside a <br>whole week! "How did you do that?" asked Robert, and then the man used a <br>knife to pierce Robert's day, and suddenly Robert was free to dance and <br>walk again, just like he did before this short day came along.<p>So with his day destroyed, Robert danced his way towards what can only <br>be described as "Something Which Cannot Be Described As Anything Other <br>Than 'The Big Amazing Indescribable Thing That Only One Person Is Able <br>To Describe, And He's Not Here, Nobody Knows Where He's Got To, He's <br>Always Going Missing, The Silly Man'", and "Oh, yes, amazing!" said <br>Robert with delight at whatever it was that he was looking at. And so he <br>danced and pranced and romanced until he flew into the sky and went <br>somewhere else, but not very far away at all really. In fact, he was <br>only floating up a short distance.<p>"Where have you gone, Robert?" said Timothy, who was busy dancing in one <br>place, out of time, out of his mind, out of money, and also fresh out of <br>your favourite type of apples as well (he should have planned ahead and <br>ordered enough, the silly man). "How could you abandon me, leaving me <br>here alone, without any apples or a mind or money or any time to spare. <br>Oh how silly you were to destroy the only day you had. Silly man. Come <br>back, I miss you."<p>"It's okay, Timothy, I'm only up here, I'm not far away!" said Robert, <br>floating above.<p>"But you're all the way up there!" said Timothy.<p>"But you can still hear me, right?" said, yes that's right, you guessed <br>it: Robbykins.<p>"Yes."<p>"Well shut up then, ya big girl's blouse!"<p>"How dare you!" Timothy exclaimed, offended.<p>"What?" Rob said, confused.<p>And then a pregnant giraffe appeared and ate them both (stupid bloody <br>strange pregnancy food cravings: Humans, Chocolate and Mayonaise).<p>The End.Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-7664456730875214982010-04-22T19:02:00.001+01:002010-04-22T19:02:04.204+01:00Vote Underpants ManVote Underpants Man!<p><a href="http://www.unclebertie.com/vote-underpants-man/">http://www.unclebertie.com/vote-underpants-man/</a>Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-19819679382433664852010-04-05T11:24:00.000+01:002010-04-05T11:25:02.737+01:00Poetry TimeHey you<br> There's something new<br> On our site<br> That you might<br> Want to <br> Listen to:<br> <br> <a href="http://www.unclebertie.com/poetry-time/" title="Permalink to Poetry Time" rel="bookmark">Poetry Time</a><br> Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21594872.post-91585569194638108392010-02-15T18:39:00.001+00:002010-02-15T18:39:06.032+00:0072 PressupsThis morning I did 72 pressups.<p>This is how I did it:<p>2 - rest<br>4 - rest<br>6 - rest<br>8 - rest<br>10 - rest<br>12 - LONG REST<p>That's 42<p>Then I went back to the beginning:<p>2 - rest<br>4 - rest<br>6 - rest<br>8 - rest<br>10<p>That's another 30<p>TOTAL: 72<p>You can't beat the endorphin buzz you get from doing something like <br>that. A great way to start the day...Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16467318061766748562noreply@blogger.com0