In this article I want to talk about: Very Small Countries.

The smallest country in the whole of this damn fine huge great big spinny world is: Vatican City. The second smallest is Monaco.

Also very small is Andorra, which is where there was a tragedy yesterday when a bridge collapsed and some people died.

Actually, while we're on that subject, I told my dad about that today, having read it on Wikinews, and he had no idea about it. It just goes to show, the BBC News doesn't give you all the important news, they just telly you what they want to tell you.

I really don't like watching TV news, the BBC especially, because there's so much endless political scandal stuff. Like ages ago when that blind politician David Blunkett was having an affair or something - I don't care! I don't care where he puts his penis (as long as he keeps it away from me).

I mean, don't get me wrong, I want to know important stuff. Like, I want to know when we've got a new Prime Minister, or when they've created a law to ban thinking, but I really don't care about the ins and outs of politicians private lives. Or even the ins and outs of their professional lives. I just want the important stuff. The end results. That's why I prefer reading it online, because I can just skim down through any headlines that don't interest me, and as long as there's none that say anything scary like "Britain Has Been Sold To China" or "Gloucestershire To Be Dug Up And Transported To Australia" then I'm happy.

Anyway, where were we? Oh yes, small countries...

Yeah, so small countries, right, I mean...why?

And also: What?

And by that I mean: What if something really bad happens? Like, what if part of it explodes or collapses, then there's hardly anything left. Or what if there's some other disaster, like another country invades it, would another nearby country help defend it?

But also, take Monaco for example, that's just a city. What if you live there but you get sick of the city? You have actually move to another country just to move to a rural area. If I lived there, I'd be campaigning to expand the boundaries out into the surrounding mountains, where I would build a small castle and call myself King.

No, wait. King is too oppressive. How about a more relaxed title, for example: "The Wise Man On The Hill"?