"When I was a lad, we didn't used to have all this rain shit going on..."
Old Man on the Street.

"Since the invention of rain, the sky weighs more*, say Special Clever Scientists..."
A News Reader You've Never Seen Before

* He means less. Think about it. All the water that was weighing it down before has fallen out.

"I can't believe it's not butter!"
A Confused Old Woman Called Ethil.

"During the war, when all things were rationed, we had to make do with what water we had. As my mother always said, 'Water doesn't grow on trees,' and she was right, it doesn't, but these days it falls down from the sky. I don't know what's going on anymore, I really don't.'"
Old Man on the Street (Yes, the Same One From Earlier)

"Since the Dawn of Time, which was when Time was created by Simon the Timemonger (who created Time for all of the Universes that existed, and also some of the ones that didn't), there was a Force. It was a force so great that no other force could force it to do anything or to stop or anything like that. As a result, the Great Ooh Deidre Always Looking Mighty Interesting Gosh He Tickles Yoghurts (G.O.D. A.L.M.I.G.H.T.Y.) invented Wind to blow things over or make it difficult to walk in certain directions. This was no good, because Wind needed something more to blow to make life more interesting, so the Omnipresent Uncle Rupert Likes Orange Rubarb Daisy Juice Extracted by Squashing and Uncontrollable Squeezing (O.U.R. L.O.R.D. J.E.S.U.S.) invented rain, and so that's how rain was invented and that's why we have rain these days but it's too much."
A Crazy Person