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Kevin the Dragon

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A disabled (yet gifted) dragon called Kevin, who was unable to breathe
fire but had laser eyes (which were also able to see through things, but
sometimes this superpower worked so well that he saw through the entire
universe but was unable to adequately describe in words what he saw out
the other side - and yes, he was a talking dragon, so he wasn't all that
disabled really, not when you consider what some people have to put up
with in this life, for example having one leg almost twice the length of
the other one, or being joined to your twin by your genitals) woke up to
the sound of his mum singing Happy Birthday to him. She had bought him a
new pair of stilts for his birthday. Bright purple ones, all shiny and
new, fresh from the stilt shop on the corner ("The Corner Shiny Stilt
Store - All The Best Stilts In Town - You Won't Find Stilts Cheaper
Anywhere Within a 5 Mile Radius, No, Not Even If You Go Down Into The
Caves Where The Evil Weird Men Sell Stolen Stilts Cheap - Please Don't
Go To Those Evil Men, Buy Your Stilts From Us Instead").

"GASP!" he gasped, as he got out of bed and stretched the biggest
stretch he had ever stretched, and looked out the window at the sunny
sunshine that filled the beautiful green garden with bright sunny
shinyness, even brighter than the big bright dream he'd just had, in
which he dreamed he was flying so far above the clouds that he was
nearly in space or in Heaven if that's what you choose to believe if
you're completely insane unlike Kevin who was saner than a wardrobe, and
that's really saying something because when did you last hear a wardrobe
saying that he heard God speaking to him?!

"GASP!" gasped Kevin's mum, so utterly ShockyVoiced at just how
HappyFaced Kevin was at the sight of his new stilts.

But then suddenly (with no delay whatsoever) in walked the DumbBreath
SpazCockMan and the LoonyBumBumGirl, who decided to paint the ceiling a
new colour that had never been seen before, not even on television or in
Africa or New Zealand or on Mars. Suddenly everyone gasped, causing the
oxygen level in the room to suddenly drop, and they all fainted,
collapsing to the floor like as if they had been shot in the face, but
the vibration caused by them all landing on the floor all at the same
time caused the window to break because you must remember Kevin is a
dragon and when one of those falls over is really shakes the house quite
a lot yes.

Anyway, this then meant that suddenly there was fresh air again, so they
all woke up, all ShockyFaced and OhMyGoshMouth and FreakyStareyEyes,
LookAroundTheRoomyFace, WhoAreYouI'veNeverSeenYouBeforeVoice,
IDon'tKnowIJustFollowedHimVoice, IDon'tWhat'sGoingOnShruggyShoulders,
and all the rest of it.

"AAARRRGGGHHH!!!" screamed the InsaneShoutyMan as he smashed through the
window, sending glass everywhere. Suddenly they all jumped to their feet
and hit him with karate. Chop Waa Kick Hai Yaa!! (this is how karate
sounds); but the InsaneShoutyMan shouted so loud that their eardrums
burst and then the house fell down and they all died.

The End.


Unless they magically come back to life.

It's only words, I can do whatever I want.

Even this: Oooh waaa Kentucky Fried elbows in cheese.

See? You can't stop me. Nobody can!


My Other Blog: Sun-kissed

About me

  • I'm Marcus
  • From Wotton-under-Edge, Gloucestershire, United Kingdom
  • My profile

Contact Me: mejc@mejc.demon.co.uk

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