When Are We Truly Ourselves?
Published Sunday, April 09, 2006 by Marcus | E-mail this post
You're never completely yourself when around other people. Every situation you're in with somebody else, you are yourself plus
them, because they have an influence on you without you even realising it, without them
realising it, and before anyone has even spoken. But then, if the other person is also not completely themselves when around you
, does that makes for a false situation, and where does it come from? In a sense, this makes every social situation a game, in which we all play characters.
The only time I feel like I am 100% myself is when I'm by myself, and I suppose that's what I love about solitute sometimes. Although I wouldn't necessarily want to be by myself all the time, and in fact it takes away some of the meaning if there is nobody at all to share any of yourself with, I think everyone needs significant time alone along the way to rebalance themselves. Some of the most joyful experiences I've had are when I'm by myself. I wonder how many people can say that about themselves?
I suppose that the most ideal romantic relationship is one where you are able to be 100% yourself with that person. I don't think that happens in a lot of relationships, because often people will be slightly mismatched. Is that due to a fear of being alone? It would be really nice to be in a relationship where you are able to completely be yourself though. I wonder whether the reason some people don't spend much time alone is that they are afraid of who they are, they are afraid that there would be complete nothingness, complete silence, or they won't like what they see when they look inside.
I think it's true that you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else or let anyone love you. When people enter into relationships as an unhappy person expecting the relationship to solve all their problems, that could be when problems occur, because they take it out on the other person?